How To Regain Your Self-Confidence After A Divorce

R egaining one's self-confidence following a divorce is not an easy thing to do. As we've stated in all the previous articles within this series of reports on how to recover from a divorce, the blow to your inner-being is traumatic and long-lasting. Probably the first thing you should do is to take stock of yourself and set about improving the way you look. This could mean a new hairdo, a haircut, new makeup, and new clothes. Get yourself organized to look your best, because when you feel that you look good, you will look good. It's easy to spot people who have suffered traumatic experiences because of the way they look.

Their appearance, their clothes, the way they talk and act - it's all quite apparent to an observer that these people feel down and out - they feel that life has played a dirty trick on them - and their self-esteem is not very high.

The next thing you should do is get involved in some sort of meaningful work.

If you're already a part of the working force, ask for more responsibility or more challenging assignments. Get involved in the areas in which you excel, and show your bosses as well as yourself what you can do with exemplary expertise. Take stock of the promotional opportunities where you work - set your sights on a better position - and go for it.

If you're out of work or don't have a job, then take stock of the things that you can do, make up or have a resume of your capabilities typed out, look in the newspapers - the yellow pages of your telephone book - visit your state employment office, and the employment agencies in your area - submit your resume and get yourself a job. Nothing boosts a person ego, self-esteem, personal confidence, and inner dignity like getting a job Don't be discouraged - part of the reason it's so hard to find a job is because of the trauma you're experiencing - keep trying and you'll succeed.

If you're retired or well-off to the extent that there's no need for you to find a wage-paying job, then volunteer your expertise to organizations and people who will benefit from your knowledge and experience. The welfare agencies are always looking for people to teach others how to keep house, cook meals, and care for children. You might even consider organizing a business or putting together classes of some sort to help people with their problems and/o