Setting Limits With Friends.
Many people find themselves caught up in others' problems, then feel confused about how and when to help. Take your good friend who just left her husband. Do you offer her a place to stay, money, advice, help with baby-sitting, a blind date or two? Or take the friend who can never make it to the end of the month on a budget. Every month you bail him/her out. If you have long-term feelings of resentment, anger, manipulation, being treated as unimportant, etc., you probably need to set some limits in your friendship.
How much is enough? And how much is too much?
What fosters self-esteem and self-reliance for the other person plus mutual respect for both of you while avoiding the pitfalls of dependency?
All relationships need limits whether they are friendships, sibling relations, mate/lovers, business relations, etc. On some level, all limit setting means saying "no." However, it is usually a qualified nay that says what, where, when, and under what circumstances you will give or not give to another person.
If you have long-term feelings of resentment, anger, manipulation, being treated as unimportant, etc., you probably need to set some limits in your relationship.
There are five steps to limit setting:
1. Choosing to set limits. You will tolerate a difficult relationship situation just as long as you choose to tolerate it. You are the one choosing to set boundaries in place.
2. Identify the source of your feelings. It often takes some real soul-searching on your part to figure out the source of your anger or re
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