5 Ways To Make New Friends

As a mother of three under the age of seven, I stay very busy. I carpool, shop, clean, and organise on a daily basis. As if that were not enough to satisfy me, I also sing locally, write and teach music, and direct a ministry. Yet amongst my schedule there seems to be something missing. I've got jobs and chores galore, all satisfying and enjoyable, but where is the fun, the letting go, and that letting down my hair and letting it blow in the wind feeling? I think it's ready to emerge like a flower in bloom but I know friendships need some constant attention. Right now in my life that is what scares me. It's the constant attention part. And you're talking about a woman that can't grow a cactus if her life depended on it. I admit, I have many great friendships, but only one flourishing houseplant at this moment. It's not because I like it that way. I just don't put constant attention to my plant up there on my priority list. And yet despite all that, I have friendships that I couldn't live without. I know that most women intensely desire to build lasting friendships we will keep forever. But you and I know that just as we care for flowers we must also care for friendships. And that can be scary.

As a mum, wife, and friend, you and I know how difficult it is to meet new people outside our daily routine. If there was a new face in the drop-off line at your child's school would you notice? If there was a new mum in the supermarket check-out line would you stop and say hello? I ask you, Do you have time to prune new relationships in your life? With a little rearranging and reorganisation you can cultivate new friendships that will blossom into lasting relationships. Take it from a mum whose thumb has turned from white to green.

Friendships are indeed just like flowers. Just like flowers require certain things to flourish so do friendships. You and I know its different with every friendship, but for the most part we all have specific needs that are dying to be met. And with most friendships, letting go of expectations can help give any relationship a jump-start. Here's 5 simple ways to make new friends and keep them:

1. Friends can come to us through other friends with which we have similar interests. We often receive or buy flowers already bundled or sorted, and just like flowers, friends can be introduced to us in the same way. Haven't you been introduced to someone simply because you were standing there speaking with your friend and she walked up? Be on the lookout for such moments to make a new friend. Just like flowers, friends often group together through a similar interest. If you just met someone, find out what she and your friend have in common. When you see her again remember her by name and speak kindly. Speaking kind words of encouragement with a desire to make a new friend will make for a lasting friendship.

2. Friends can be made simply by taking the time to get to know someone you just met. Flowers must be watered in order to live, and just like friends, we must also make efforts to stay in touch regularly. Make an effort to get to know someone better by finding out what she enjoys. Other friends can even help you get to know someone new. Arrange a gathering to talk, eat or just visit. Seek out her phone number and call her one day to see if she can met you at the local park or for a coke. Taking the time to get to know her will allow for future visits and a budding friendship.

3. Friends can be a result of being somewhere at just the right time. Flowers are often displayed in places where we can see them, and just like friends, simple opportunity can get a conversation started. Visit a group of ladies who are meeting regularly. Get involved in your child's PTA. Often there are many potential new friends right inside the school. Take a look around as you enter the first time and sit by someone who is smiling or inviting. Find a group meeting about something you hold dear to your heart.

4. Friends can emerge by participating in a fun, family activity. Just like flowers, friends often thrive best when their needs are being met, their priorities are reciprocated, and their feelings are acknowledged. Meeting a friend's need can happen easily when you are participating in an activity important to both of you. Certain friends enjoy spending time with you doing nothing and just talking. Others want to go see a movie, eat dinner, and spend days just doing anything with you. Others are quieter, more relaxed and seem to want minimum weekly contact. Others want to share with you everything they know and want to get your advice on every topic imaginable. Diversity is common among friendships, but with a little patience, you can start a new friendship simply by realising that the two of you have common but different experiences. Just like flowers whither and die, some friendships will too.

5. Friends can evolve from simply being yourself. Flowers, like friends, can grow despite our constant care simply because that's what they were made to do. It has been proven that friendships can add to a person's life span simply by keeping us feeling wanted and loved. I believe that we meet some people simply because it was meant to be. There are some friends you will have that will be your biggest supporters in time of trial and adversity. They will also rejoice with you in your accomplishments. Are you going through a struggle and need a friend? Watch and wait and your help may just be in that check-out line.

Today, as you drive to pick up your child, decide to give the water your " bud " needs. And while you're at the supermarket could you pick up some carnations? All this talk about flowers has made me wish I had a big bouquet on my dinner table tonight. Happy friendships ! Amy Tanner