Welcome To The Web
You finally broke down and bought a computer . Although you swore you`d never give into this passing phase, your family has leapt into the 21st century with a single purchase. You have to admit, everybody does seem to have an E-mail address . Even your grandmother signed her Christmas card €śSupportHoseNHeels@resthome.net.€ť Every organization, retail outlet and Hollywood movie has www dot preceding its name. You`re just not sure you want the internet in your home. True it will be good for the kids to use when they do their homework. People say it`s the window to the world. Take the dictionary and those dusty old encyclopedias off the book shelf. Set the chess board up instead. Your friends will still think you`re intellectual.
There`s the stranger danger factor though. You`ve heard about it on the news. They say the internet is crawling with weirdoes and sex maniacs who`ll take advantage of people.
While there`s something ironically appealing about that thought, you keep it to yourself and lay down the law. The children are forbidden to go online unless you`re in the room. Their computer time is limited to one hour per day. Nobody in your household is going to fall victim to such evil. Your family will use its computer for educational research and word processing only! One afternoon you find yourself at home alone. This is the perfect opportunity for you to look around the internet. Your kids call it €śsurfing€ť so you feel pretty cool as you sit down to hang ten. With so much information literally at your fingertips, where do you begin? A person could conceivably learn anything here. There are websites devoted to medicine, traveling, literature, the fine arts and music; decisions, decisions.
With your hands perched on the home row and your mind hungry for knowledge you enter the €śMarried Not Dead€ť chat room. To hell with culture. No Aesop fable or Monet watercolor ever made your heart race or palms sweat like this.
You watch the words scroll by one line at a time. There isn`t much resembling a real conversation that you can see. That`s when it happens; an instant message window appears on your screen. Somebody wants to talk privately with you. An adrenaline burst fills your stomach and you notice your right leg is bouncing up and down like a jack hammer. You answer them and before long you`re engaged in some very witty exchanges where you`re holding your own, so to speak, very nicely. You exchange first names, general locations, physical descriptions and favorite sexual positions. You`re feeling a tad guilty for stretching the truth so far on these points. The person you`re chatting with is a self-described Adonis/Einstein hybrid though; you have to lie to keep up.
The comments become risqué. Your new chum asks if your spouse minds you being on line. You say nobody tells you what to do. Besides, your partner is more of a roommate than a lover anyway.
At that moment you hear a vehicle in the drive. The car door opens then slams shut. You hear footsteps and the jingle of keys. In the blink of an eye you log off and throw yourself onto the sofa. As the front door opens you yawn, stretch and greet your spouse. They ask if you`ve used the computer at all.
€śOh, for a few minutes. I checked the weather forecast is all. Silly machine does nothing for me.€ť
by CJ Bowes
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