Chatiquette

Would you go to Paris without learning how to say, ��Bonjour�� or to Rome not knowing what buonanotte means? � Of course you wouldn`t. � You shouldn`t go into an internet chat room unprepared either. � Chatting is not simply a matter of typing and reading sentences comprised of the Queen`s English you know. � In order to express yourself thoroughly and efficiently through this medium you must be aware of the multiple acronyms, emoticons and slang which have become standard. � Otherwise you may find yourself left in a cloud of cyber dust trying to decipher what WTG means while the LOL`s roll by you.

It is customary to say hello to the room upon entering. � ��Newbies�� is the term used for the people who have recently arrived in a chat room. If someone types ��Welcome all newbies�� and you haven`t yet expressed greetings and salutations, this is your opportunity to join the conversation. � Beware; once you`ve made your presence known there will be an influx of instant messages appearing on your screen, especially if your name suggests you are of the female persuasion. � If someone asks you for your a/s/l what they want to know are your age, sex and location. � You will get this question often even if your screen name is WomanofWellingtonBorn1972. � Intelligence is not a prerequisite to owning a computer.

When something makes you laugh out loud you use the letters LOL to convey that. � You can carry it one step further by using LMAO (Laughing My Ass Off). � To let someone know their joke has sent you into hysterical convulsions, ROFLMAO means Rolling On Floor Laughing My Ass Off. � Should you be resting on ample padding, and care to share this information, you throw an extra F in (for fat) between the M and the insulting remarks are possible as long as j/k follows, which stands for just kidding. � So when WomanofWellingtonborn1972 responds to a/s/l by saying, ��Boy, are you stupid!�� She can follow it with j/k and a smiley face to avoid verbal attack. � She may even be congratulated with a ��high five,�� ^5

To make a smiley face you use a colon, a dash and a right parenthesis. :-) � Similarly, a sad face is a colon, dash and left parenthesis. :-( � A Cheshire cat grin is a colon, dash and capital D. � :-D . � A laughing face is the colon, dash and multiple right parentheses. � :-))))))) . � You can even send a wink and a kiss by changing the colon to a semi-colon and adding an asterisk after your smile, � ;-)* . � To stick your tongue out, replace the right parenthesis with a capital P. � :-P . � � All ��faces�� in the chat world are sideways which is actually fitting, as most chats are a tad askew. � You will learn this on your own though. �

Now go on in and have a good time. � I didn`t say have fun because ��fun�� in chat terms often means ��lofting.�� � Lofting is a private chat room or instant messaging session of naughtiness. � Of course if you want to have ��fun,�� you`re in the right place. � In that case I say WTG (Way to go).

by CJ Bowes Living in New Jersey but in love with New Zealand . Crystal Stango JustCrystal11@aol.com